We live in the world of speedy communication. About as fast as anything is said, it can be communicated throughout the world. The Internet is a wonderful tool that brings information to the palm of your hand. Sometimes what is said is factual, sometimes not. Sometimes what is written is factual, sometimes not.

There was the saying, ‘speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil”. In many ways it is hard to shut out the ‘see’, but we can control or manage the ‘speak’ and ‘hear.’

Rumors

In the workplace, we are often confronted with rumors… rumors about the organization, the boss, coworkers, and others. Rumors are like grass fires. They start from a small spark, slowly spread, ignite more, and rapidly burn out of control. The damage can be tremendous and often very difficult to mitigate or repair. When hearing a rumor, the best approach is to do some checking, validate with other sources, and maybe even go directly to the source of the rumor and ask…”where did this come from”? You may get a nebulous answer that will be a clue that the rumor doesn’t pass the smell test.

Play it safe, and don’t pass on or spread rumors.

“Rumors aren’t interested in the unsensational story; rumors don’t care what’s true”                                                                                                                                                                                                                John Irving

Gossip 

When talking of others in the workplace, the emphasis should be on saying the good things about them and not make negative or hurtful remarks. Anyone can become upset about what others say or do. This is natural and understandable. It’s not a perfect world. It is often difficult to hold back when you are the one being hurt. However, when the temptation arises it is better to say to oneself:

Would I feel comfortable saying the gossip to the person’s face, openly, and honestly?

If not, don’t take part in the gossip. Find something positive to say!

“We reveal most about ourselves, when we speak about others”

                                                                                    Kamand Kojouri

Secrets 

Is there really such a thing as a secret—when it is passed to you? A secret (at best) is a limited exposure of information to select people. I personally have a tough time, keeping a secret. Many of us ‘slip’, or run off at the mouth when entrusted with a secret. Usually I just say,” I’m really poor at keeping secrets, so if this is really confidential, please don’t tell me because I’m not so good at keeping silent”.

Written Communication

Now for the ultimate consideration about gossip, rumors, and secrets...be very careful what you write (e mails, Facebook, Tweets, etc. etc.). Don’t assume that this written communication will be, or will remain confidential. Sometimes through haste, anger, or emotion we write what comes to us at the moment, and we don’t thoughtfully consider what we write or how we write it. Once you write something and you hesitate or wonder if you should send it, take this test:

“If I am writing something that would show up on the front page of my hometown newspaper, would my family be proud of me, or disappointed?”

If disappointment is the result, the answer is obvious. Even if you are asking yourself the question…should I, or not… play it safe, and DO NOT!

We are all surrounded by gossip, rumors and sometimes the spreading of so called secrets. It’s one thing to listen to them. It’s another thing to waste your time and energy through participation.

“Words are seeds- they land in our hearts and not in the ground. Be careful what you plant and careful what you say. You might have to eat, what you planted one day” 

                                                                                                                    Ritu Ghatourey                                                                                                                    

Russell J. Bunio

8.23.2016